Little Brother Fought Back
Conrad Ho
I am 168 cm in height, and 63 kilos in weight. If someone who is 210 cm and 100 kilos comes to seize my belongings, I would probably choose peace and let him have them. If we meet often and he continually acted like that, I would probably turn to a higher authority, e.g. police or court, for protection.
My younger son, Yu Sum, did not choose to act in this way. When his brother, who is 125% taller and 135% heavier, came for his toys, he would immediately hold onto his toys, and would push his bigger brother away. After being thrown to the ground, he would rise to fight on. He would not call out loudly to attract adults’ attention. Neither would just cry and not take any action.
Since Yu Sum was able to walk on his feet, such incidents had been happening quite often. Finally, Yu Sum seemed to decide he would not take it any more. He changed his strategy from passive defense into proactive attack. In a sunny morning in March, when the big brother was experimenting on how to pump up his big gym ball, Yu Sum initiated an “attack” by hitting Lago’s hands, and worked to seize the ball pump. Lago was irritated, shouted at him and at the same time hit him. The little brother had apparently expected this response and raised his hands to hit back.
Result? Of course, the big brother “won”. Only after about ten seconds, Lago brought him down to the floor by a new move – the side kick. Perhaps they both knew that adults would intervene at this stage. They both stopped, watching how I would respond. I did not take side. I told them that Lago was too rough on his little brother, while Yu Sum should not have initiated the attack. The incident was settled when I separated them and let them play with other things.
When I looked back, from a realist’s perspective, Yu Sum was not too wise to start the fight. As a Chinese proverb says, he was “hitting the rock with an egg.” In the end, he was the one who got hurt. However, there was something in him that I admire. Though he was little, he was willing to defend himself, even to the extent of challenging those who bullied him.
Another surprise is that Yu Sum was planning ahead before action. He had thought of how to offend the elder brother, and had an action plan to deal with the latter’s anticipated response. He even expected the timing of my intervention. The only thing he miscalculated was the side kick from his brother.