My Experience of Re-developing All Over Again
Susan Su (Fuzhou, Fujian)
November 05, 2011
It was cool on 5 November 2011 in the Ming Tombs area on the outskirt of Beijing. The sky that afternoon was grey, a sign of lowering temperatures. Fallen leaves were crawling all over the place in the gusting winds, seemingly too happy to stay calm. The five-day Balancing Retreat facilitated by Mr. Conrad Ho was just over but I had not enough. After a day of rest, I joined the first 4 days of his “The Twelve-Meridian Balances ” workshop. November 5 was the third day and the Small Intestine Balance was in that afternoon. The physiological function of the small intestines was to receive semi-digested foods from the stomach, absorb the nutrients and other usable stuffs, and then, pass on whatever left into the large intestines. After hearing what Conrad had to say about the background information and the guidelines of the balance, I set my goals to be (1) I allow resources to flow; (2) I fully exploit the talents of my staff and the functions of my resources; (3) I absorb precisely and fully.
In the adjustment step of the balancing procedure, the first activity I had done was to let Jining, a fellow participant, rolled a wooden massage tool along the route of my small intestines meridian. She rolled and rolled and all of a sudden, I would not move. I felt so exhausted that I would not open my mouth and utter a sound. Jining felt tired, too! She would not lift a finger. Therefore, we just lied there, in a heavy sense of weakness, for a long time. Conrad came over and said, “If you feel tired, just relax and rest. ” I never experienced such exhaustion before, doing nothing except lying down and simply to breathe. After a long rest and I finally would open my eyes. Conrad said: “Probably, both sides of your body have been switched on again now. ” Jining did a muscle-check on me. Though Jining had only done the rolling on my right small intestines meridian and not the left yet, both my arms were tested “on “, meaning I could maintain good control of my muscles on both sides again.
The second activity on the menu was abdominal breathing. This part was what I had always been dreading for. When I took air in, my stomach would rise alongside with my belly. Conrad said in a comforting tone: “Just do it! ” So I practiced it, breathing in and out, in and out. A century had passed and I did not do it right. I was agitated, so much that I had chosen not to breathe, holding my breath for so long that I started wondering: “If I cannot do it right, I might as well just stop breathing altogether! ” Right at that very moment, Conrad leisurely strolled over and said in a calm voice: “Soon, it will be done! ” I took it as an encouragement and regained my confidence. I began to take air in and out again. After one minute, I was muscle-checked and my arm muscles were on. I was a teacher myself. In this experience, I deeply felt the importance of a simple statement like “You’ve learnt some already. Just need a little more practice. ” in the scenario of a kid in despair in a learning situation.
The third activity I had engaged in was fascia release along the small intestines meridian. Because of the long time used in the last two activities, I was the last one to come to this. Everyone had done it already. So, Conrad did it on me. I did not really consciously know what had happened. Not long after Conrad started, I was shivering all over automatically. Violent anger erupted and I found myself hitting the floor with my tight fists. Another session of shivering and I subjectively felt something around my neck, suffocating me. I began to really struggle to snatch it away, in violent anger again. When Conrad finished the fascia release, I was left immobile, too weak to do anything but just lying there.
It seemed a lifetime had passed when I opened my eyes again, the surroundings looked so new, strange and alien. Everyone was nearby, in the closing circle, sharing. Lying down, I could listen to the sounds but not hear the words. I tried to stand up, but in vain. My body was not able to move. I asked Conrad to touch me and he touched on my fingers. There was sensation, so why immobile? I tried to move my middle finger and, eh, I could move it. I tried to lift my arm but could not. It was numb. It was my first experience of this kind ever. How come a healthy and normal person, without being hurt nor sick, suddenly could not move? An urge to live pushed me to try to stand up. I practiced moving my arms in an intense sensation of sourness. Gradually, I could move my wrists and finally my whole arms. Then, I worked to sit up, but the legs were not there. I supported my body up with just my arms. I fell and I worked again. After I don!|t know how many times, I could sit up with bent legs on the floor in front of the erect body for support and it was exhilarating! Next, I struggled to kneel and then, to stand. Both processes took a very long time. I fell and I worked again and again, massaging the legs along the way. Fellow students offered to help but I politely declined. I told myself, “I will do it completely on my own. Nobody can help me in this process. ”
It was a fantastic feeling, seemingly reborn anew, re-tracing the steps of a baby developing, re-learning to sense, sit, roll over, kneel, stand, walk and eventually run. I could feel the endeavours of a kid in this process, and the strength of the will of a person. On the other side, I deeply felt the significance of the intelligent parents who would allow the kid space to learn things himself, giving encouragement only exactly when it was needed in exactly the quantity that it was needed.
