Being an Authentic Woman Was Great

Amy Choi,
September 21, 2010

In early autumn this month, a group of 18 women and I experienced an unforgettable five days together.

It was the Authentic Woman Casework Training that I conducted for the first time in Beijing. Last year, my friend Ms. Zheng Hua said to me, “There are many women who are not happy in China. If we can do some balance with them, then men will be happier and children will be happier, and we have a more healthy society.” I totally agreed with her. Ms. Zheng and I then created a space where women can balance for their “authentic self” together.

18 Women, Same Physiologies, Different Stories
The participants came from different areas – from Beijing, Dalian, Zhengzhou, Shenzhen, Harbin and other places. Each of us has been carrying a woman’s body on earth for a while, and we also share some common experiences. For instance, when we were born, we probably heard: “It’s a girl!” We all had the experience of discovering our breasts and the first time when menstruation came. Some of us had the experience of giving birth or breast-feeding. Within similar physiological context, we lived; we interacted with the world.

Although we shared the same physiological traits, but different stories – one was an abandoned baby; one felt alienated from the world; some could not participate fully in life; some tried to get pregnant but couldn’t; some had had abortion or difficult birth; some had been sexually abused or offended; one had sexual relation with a man accidentally and couldn’t forgive herself; one had a husband who had extra-marital affair and was feeling angry; one couldn’t decide in ten years whether she should get divorced with her husband; one imagined she were a man; one didn’t know what love was and didn’t know how to give; one never gave herself a chance to express her ideas in front of others; some were really dissatisfied with certain body parts; some thought being a woman was a suffering…

During those five days, we re-experienced our own nature, shared with each other, and re-connected with our inner power and balanced the Yin and Yang qualities within ourselves.

Being My Authentic Self Was Great!
Before I conducted this workshop, I decided that I would be free from any procedure or any techniques. I would also be free from the expected behaviour codes between “a teacher” and “students”. I would open my heart and soul, and let my intuition be my guide. It was a new attempt to me. But with the encouragement of Conrad, my husband, I followed this decision. (Thus, I would like to thank him on this!) It then turned out to be the best teaching experience I have ever had! The 18 women and I experienced ourselves fully. Those who wanted to laugh laughed. Those who wanted to cry cried. Those who wanted to shout shouted. Those who wanted to groan groaned. Those who wanted to hit something hit. Those who wanted to scold someone scolded. Those who wanted to get drunk got drunk. Those who wanted to speak spoke. Those who wanted to give thanks gave thanks. In this safe and supportive environment, we opened up ourselves and experienced our true nature. We experienced the state of “experiencing oneself in each other”. Most importantly, in the end, everyone made a conscious decision to become the kind of authentic woman she wanted – by the way she walked, talked, ate, nodded, grabbed something or in other ways she expressed herself.

During the whole process, I was noticing the interaction between my intuition and conscious mind. Those two were like two children playing with each other. I really enjoyed this way of teaching. It felt like making a nice sculpture together with the participants from the heart. It also felt like dancing.

In these five days, my mind/body experienced the stories of 18 women. I was tired afterwards. When the workshop ended, I went to a hotspring nearby by myself and spent a night there. The next morning was a brand new day for an “authentic woman”!

I look forward to meeting more women in the space of “The Authentic Woman” workshop. Together we sculpture, colour and balance our “authentic selves” together.

Thanks to god for this opportunity. Thanks to Zheng Hua, Conrad, the 18 women and also to myself!