Impressions on “Authentic Woman”

Zhao Huiying (Dalian)
April 10, 2012
With Compliments: Dalian Dearfox Spiritual Intelligence Development Institute

Near the end of March, the Old Iron Mountain standing on the boundary of Yellow Sea and Bohai Sea was still chilly. Yet, it was already spring after all. Wet, warm breaths and budding thoughts stirred in the mist of the hot springs, making everyone who came near sigh deeply in content.

Thanks to Ms. Tang Lan, I walked into the 5-day “Authentic Woman” Casework Training. The instructor, Ms. Amy Choi, came from Hong Kong, and had been studying kinesiology for many years. Since 2010, she had been developing a way of balancing that utilized physical movements and intuition. Within the course, the 12 non-deliberate but deeply impressive cases were brilliant, and the 7 seemingly easy but meaningful group balances were near perfection.

The basis of “Authentic Woman” was “woman”, and the object to be searched and balanced was “authenticity”. The authenticity of reality was not easily noticed, so the instructor directed us to start by connecting with our hands. Perhaps because I had experienced similar courses before, my sensitivity had been acutely trained. As soon as the music started, I looked at my hand that was waving according to my heart’s desire, and tears came to my eyes. Threads of memories, drops of tenderness… without knowing, my heart and body were kneaded together. As everyone shared the story of their hands, the group of unfamiliar women was also kneaded together.

Picking an energy card, experiencing the 7 directions of energy movements, inviting my own shadow to dance and becoming a good friend with my shadow… the charisma of the course gradually emerged and deepened. Looking in the mirror, applying a facial mask, putting on my most feminine clothes – these simple and everyday activities were given special meaning in the course. The most feminine motions and actions, such as sexual intercourse, childbirth, holding a baby, breastfeeding, menstruation and so on, allowed us to discover our blind spots again and again. We had a total awareness regarding whether we approved, accepted and liked the fact that we were women, and then wholeheartedly embraced this beautiful gender that heaven had given us.

It was hard to imagine this group of gorgeously dressed women, this group of North-Eastern ladies who could bring the house down with their laughter, had so much pain in the bottom of their hearts, and carried such heavy burdens upon their shoulders. Their bodies of classical beauty were hard as steel, and their faces were angular and showed an air of fierceness. Tortured by a failed marriage and the burdens of the family system, an originally passionate and enthusiastic single mother was left with a sad face and a body wrought with pain and sickness; apparently wise and beautiful teachers, office workers and corporate owners were filled with shortcomings, entanglement, confusion, and fear underneath their calm and practical appearances.

Practicing a set of soft yet powerful Ba Duan Jin (Eight Section Brocade) exercises, writing in the “Authentic Woman” journal, asking nature “What kind of woman am I,” drawing a picture that represented my heart… tension disappeared miraculously, just like that. Some pains were healed immediately, and some seeds were planted in our hearts. During the “Moon Balance”, the women held hands, joined their hearts, and sang all songs related to the moon that we remembered. The stars twinkled and the crescent moon shone; our songs were melodious and laughter abounded.

There wasn’t any deliberation, but it always grasped the crucial points and pointed straight to one’s heart. This was a world of intuition, full of the aura of sensitivity. The instructor’s humility, simplicity, wisdom and agility greatly impressed us. Pushing, pulling, pressing, massaging, rubbing, hitting, sweeping, poking, kneeling, kicking, wedging, blowing, biting, kissing, smelling, snorting, glaring, seeing… moving with her whole body, she interacted with students with rhythmic, dance-like physical actions; Yin and Yang pushed in unison, hardness and softness kneaded together, rich in artistic aesthetics, tension and soul. The solution to each case was absolutely different, often making us gasp in astonishment:

Sometimes using a sound slap to enlighten a lost sheep;

Sometimes using all her might to support the weight of a student’s entire body;

Sometimes falling on her face and kneeling to express total submission;

Sometimes kissing on the lips and blocking the breath to bring forth a long shout…

Like a tender version of the dance Love of the Peacock, this was “a soul expressed through the body”. The expression was completely natural and went completely with the flow; within the beauty there was pain, and within the pain there was love.

Her voice was sometimes short and simple, sometimes long and continuous, bringing the qi from her dantian to her throat. Her slightly husky voice reached our ears and directly touched our hearts –

Sometimes she was philosophical and moving: “Above us is the sky, below us the earth. Between the sky and the earth, a lot of strange things can happen.” She would place you in the broad vision between the sky and the earth, and tell you what happened to you was not strange, and there was no need to hide. “We have some special thoughts regarding the past; we think that because the past was like so, it must also be so now.” She would help you learn the wisdom of flowing water, and let you understand that “repeating an old method would only get you an old result,” thus pointing you to new directions and possibilities.

Sometimes she guided patiently: on the one hand, “Don’t scold yourself. No matter what happens, let go when you need to; don’t hold on too tight.” On the other hand, “Give yourself some time. For example, there is a knot that you think is impossible to untangle, but in fact you just need to make a decision to go back and look at it later and figure out how to untangle it. Then untangle it and let it go bit by bit, thread by thread. Eventually, this knot that you think is impossible to untangle can be undone easily.”

Sometimes she was straightforward: “That’s that.” Like so, so simple that it was harsh. In life, there were indeed things that we needed to swallow with our blood and tears. The heart knew everything; the heart knew the answer. That’s that, so allow me to hold my heart with my hands, allow me to cry with you, allow me to quiet down. God is watching over me, and that’s that.

Sometimes she was playful and cute: “The last assignment is to let go of me. Don’t hold onto me; you must depend on yourself.” In this way, she handled the students’ doubts, waver and dependence, and pushed them towards independence and self-confidence, as if weaning them mentally. Then, she stood by the side, smiling honestly in relief.

Those methods full of metaphors and symbolism were amazing as well: for a student who felt fear and was paralyzed by the unknown, she led her to see that the ocean was much wider and more abundant than the land, and to feel that she could live as freely in the water as on land, like an amphibian. For a student who could not find the feeling of acting coquettishly, she took her hand and knelt down humbly, asked her to look at the sun and to praise its brilliance and magnificence. For a student who was tortured by her sexual desires, she led her to run forward, backward, to the left and to the right, and told her that she was merely running a little faster than her husband, and found the origin of her desires in the process of running backwards…

On the one hand, she comforted; on the other, she healed. As if a mirror or a deity, she was in front of you and also within you. Her breathing, facial expressions, actions and words were a presentation of the truth; she was another you. When students asked her if she might absorb some negative energy in such complicated and involved casework and thus harming her own body and soul, she humbly, calmly and confidently summarized three mental cultivation methods:

First, when a student comes to tell me something, she is my teacher;

Second, I keep myself wide open. I do not reject or fear anyone who comes, and I do not pursue anyone who leaves; I take their hands and make peace.

Third, being “positive” is very important. I believe positive energy shall live on forever in this world.

Indeed, she was ready for everything; insightful, guiding, full of wisdom and courage, as well as positivity and mercy – this beautiful woman with a graceful face, whose eyes seemed as if they could speak and whose actions were like a dance, emitted an air of certainty throughout her whole being.

Even though I know I’m only skimming the surface, through admiring and pondering, and after experiencing certain insights, my body and soul have been shocked. And so, I am filled with anticipation and desire towards that amazing and mysterious inner world, and I wait quietly for the oracle of my case to come to pass –

What will come, will come.