Be an Independent Individual – My learning from hotspring Rest Camp in Dalian

Ms. Wang Hui, Dalian, China

A person in his lifetime invariably will play different roles. Some roles may be busy and others layback; some may be relaxed and others stressed. However, each role will be colored by individual traits. In the hotspring rest camp held in Dalian, China, in early January 2009, I underwent a process of fast shifts in roles and gained a deep experience of the blessing of being an independent individual.

I was 25 already, but still looked and lived like a child, dared not and would not make a decision. Right before the hotspring rest camp, I was very busy, in fact the busiest in my whole life up till then. I knew I was containing myself, refraining from explosion and implosion. I was hanging on to a belief, that I could survive it, to do things right and complete. But I felt my lifeline was about to snap.

In the night of 31 December 2008, I was on the bus going to the venue of this hotspring rest camp, the Dalian Buyun Hotspring, as a resource person. My mood fluctuated and most of the time I kept silent in the bus. I pulled down my cap right to my eyes. Whenever I felt dizzy from motion sickness, a stone-like phrase popped out of my mind: “to tolerate”. I was in this trance-like state all the time, half-awake and half-sleep, till we finally arrived at the resort hotel.

We had a late dinner together. The foods were all organic and fibrous, right from nearby farms. The meal was the first comfort I had in this event. After dinner, we all creeped into bed as it was quite late already. I was choosy about my bed and hated air-conditioned rooms. That night, the air-conditioner produced noises for many times, and I was awakened frequently. In the morning, I was still very tired.

It was the formally the first day of the camp and it was busy, busy, busy for me. I had hoped I could work less in the camp. I forgot that the philosophy of the rest camp was that: rest was not equal to stop but a change of states. Stuck in any state for long would produce tiredness.

With my original goal in mind but all the work that gripped on me, I felt increasingly tired. Really wanted to lie down. Anywhere would do. In this unbearable state, after the end of the first day, I made my first decision. I switched off the air-conditioner to make sure I could sleep, though it would mean a colder room . From that night on, this decision let me have sound sleep. Just a little decision and I had a deep feeling of comfort and groundedness.

I slept so well in the first night that I arose a bit too late. I was still feeling tired when it was afternoon, the time for our first dip in the hotspring in the programme. I rarely swam. With everybody watching, I was intimidated. I may do silly things in front of everybody! I asked Ms. Zheng Hui, the organizer of the camp, if I might stay dry. My excuse was to take photographs. She just said it was my own choice. It felt really helpless at that moment. I needed some support, some guidance, like a kid wanting the encouragement of a parent. Without these, I could do nothing, though I was already 25.

From this, I made my second decision: to dip into water! This decision kick-started a change from deep in my heart. In the hotspring pool, facilitator Conrad Ho taught us to exercise in a wave-like movement, like a fish flipping its tail. It was so comfortable. Then, I naturally made my third decision: to dip my whole head into the water! Let the hotspring water massage every centimeter of my flesh and skin. I felt so blessed.

In the third day, I got different sensations. My muscles felt sore, but I was high-spirited. After several sessions of walking training in the first and second days, we went for a real-world practice session of walking in the fields nearby. Eventually, we climbed up a steep slope overlooking the whole valley. The pollution-free air filled my lungs and a sense of beauty filled my mind. I expected my legs to go very tired but it did not feel so on the way back.

The activities in the fourth and last day of this hotspring rest camp were again very soothing. In the concluding session at the end, I sat on my chair, with lingering memories and sensations of hotspring water all around me, the body seemingly afloat and fully relaxed.

In the hotspring rest camp, I had shifted many roles and made many decisions. I had never made so many decisions in so short a time. In these four days of the camp, I just felt I had shed many layers of crust. At the time of writing this article, when I finally had time to sit down and re-taste all the feelings and sensations in details, I could say every shift in the role played had been a way of taking a rest for me.

If I am to make a decision, I believe it will not be as tiresome for me now, after calming down to contemplate about it. Tiredness is only a product from the definitions of things that I have chosen for myself.

I would like to thank facilitator Conrad Ho for introducing me to this concept of taking rest and this way of having a rest. Also thanks to Ms. Zheng Hui for her insistence on me.

In the process of being an independent individual, it felt helpless at first, but the end was solid and gratifying. I felt the beauty of the rest camp, and I would remember it for the rest of my life.