Be an Authentic Female

Amy Choi
March 5, 2012

Listening with my Authentic Self – Amy Choi’s presentation at World Kinesiology Conference, Japan, October 2011 – (Eng./Jap.)

Youtube

Part I
Part II

The Authentic-self workshop series has three phases. The first phase is the Authentic Woman Casework Training. Since September 2010, it has been held a total of 4 times in Beijing and Shenzhen, with around 70 “authentic women” trained, and around 50 cases balanced. I’m looking forward to meeting and interacting with more “authentic women” at the end of this month at Dalian and at the beginning of May at Kyoto, Japan. Furthermore, the second phase of the Authentic-self series, “Authentic Female,” will be held for the first time in Beijing this May. It will explore the “nature” of women, “female” and the essence of “sex.” I believe some of the topics that arise will be sensitive, embarrassing and taboo in the eyes of many Chinese women. For this very reason, I believe these are the topics we need to explore the most.

Summarizing the “Authentic Woman” casework experience
For those who have seen me work with “Authentic Woman” cases, the way I use physical movements and intuition to balance seems mysterious and psyche. Some people expressed that they didn’t understand how I did it, so I feel that I should summarize here. This is a “perception-feedback” style that I suddenly discovered during the first “Authentic Woman” workshop in September 2010. It can be summarized as three processes that happen simultaneously: “waiting,” “perception” and “feedback.”

Waiting
First, I open both my body and mind, turning my attention to a common “energy field” shared by myself, the case other students and the environment. I wait patiently for myself and the case to be ready to enter the same field, for my emotions to calm and my mind to be blank, and also for inspiration and sensory signals. The process of waiting occurs throughont the casework, sometimes even before. The important thing is to be humble, and pay attention to whether the “inspiration” is made up by the brain or actually “received.” The former indicates an “over-deliberation” that hinders the casework. The process of waiting also goes two-way; the balance facilitatar needs to wait patiently, as well as the person being balanced. Those who are too eager for success miss this golden moment of “waiting.”

Perception
Perception can be roughly divided into vision, hearing and feeling, which usually happen simultaneously. Because of different focuses, sometimes a certain perception dominates and lead the other senses. “Vision” and “hearing” include things seen and heard in the inner and outer environments. “Feeling” includes inner emotional reactions and physical feelings, as well as any movement within and without the body. Perception and waiting occur simultaneously; when perceiving, I turn my attention to a space between my sub-conscious and conscious, while being awake the whole time. At this moment, the mind is blank, and the body functions as a satellite signal receiver. Through the channels of vision, hearing and feeling, the direction of balance naturally arises. If I or the person being balanced has had a prejudgment or preconception, or becomes too self-conscious of others’ opinions, perception will be hindered.

Feedback
After signals have come through perception, I begin giving feedback, in two forms – actions and voices. The body will do something on its own, in between the sub-consciousness and consciousness, not completely out of control, but not done completely consciously either. When giving action feedback, I invite the case’s individual to follow. As such, we enter a synchronized perception process. “Action feedback” can be active or passive, through hand motions such as pushing, pulling, pressing, massaging, rubbing, hitting, sweeping, and poking; leg motions such as kneeling, kicking, and wedging; mouth motions such as blowing, biting, and kissing; nose motions such as smelling and snorting; and eye motions such as glaring and seeing. Through these actions, feedback is given continuously. “Voice feedback” includes questioning, story-telling, describing, or simply making certain noises. Giving feedback is like dancing. It is interactive and creative.

During the hour or two of the casework, the three simultaneous processes of “waiting,” “perception” and “feedback” are divided into four phases: (1) exploration/listening; (2) tension; (3) relaxation; and (4) Aha!

(1) Exploration/Listening
“Exploration” refers to using the three processes above to explore or listen to the need and direction of the balance. Some individuals bring with them certain issues or goals, while some have no or unclear goals (at least unclear consciously). No matter what, the sub-consciousness of both the instructor and the individual must be prepared and enter the state of exploration full of anticipation and curiosity. Through perception and feedback, I often find inspiration and clues regarding the case in the process of “exploration.” These clues may or may not be related to the issue or goal; either way, I trust the process will unfold naturally and run its course.

(2) Tension
In the process of exploration, we often experience “tension.” Some of it is physical tension caused by certain movements, such as the sensation of swollenness, painl, tension, and numbness; some of it is emotional tension, such as feeling of sadness, fear, anger, and worry. Once entered into the tension phase, the case has arrived at a critical point of change. The best attitude is to experience it, not to escape from or analyze it. Only by thoroughly experiencing it can a turning point be gradually found, and relaxation to arrive afterwards.

(3) Relaxation
After tension, a wonderful moment – relaxation – arrives, including physical, emotional, and mental relaxation. We experience peace, and the body returns to a more balanced posture and state. It should be noted that, some individuals may enter a “false-relaxation” phase because they do not want to experience tension and pain. At this moment, all perception seems to stop; there is no pain. However, this is actually a state of evasion. If the individual chooses to stop at this moment, the problem still remain unresolved.

(4) Aha!
“Aha!” is the phase that comes after the casework, when one returns from between sub-consciousness and consciousness to consciousness, and gain a new understanding of the backstory of the individual’s experience. The individual will gain new views, learning and ideas through her own perspective and experiences. Sometimes, I and other people present also share our gains through our perspectives. “Aha!” can come immediately, but may also come after several hours, days or even months. During the “Aha!” phase, avoid over-analysis and judgment. Even when letting consciousness take the lead, try to use the thinking pattern of “waiting, perception, feedback” as much as possible.

Actual cases
(1) “Chaozhou Sister” showed her sexy side
A 40-something woman from Chaozhou had always acted rather conservative in class. When others were doing casework, she preferred to watch from the side; when doing massage exercises, she was quite unwilling to let other females touch her breasts. When it was her turn to do casework, she did some very difficult yoga poses in the beginning, such as lifting her hips in the prone position, and lifting her legs to activate the muscles near the kidneys and waist. Later, she even made some sexy movements and noises. Afterwards, she confessed that her sexual relationship with her husband was originally quite good. However, in recent years, her husband went on business trips in North-Eastern China and did not return for months. She started to suspect him, and was worried that he was having an affair. As a result, whenever she had sex with her husband recently, she always insisted that he used a condom. This suspicion affected their relationship of many years. What she needed to learn was to re-examine her suspicion of her husband.

(2) Business CEO who was afraid of getting pregnant allowed the possibility of pregnancy
A capable woman of many talents was a CEO of a company; she had a daughter already, and wished to have one more child. However, having experienced multiple ectopic pregnancies made her afraid of getting pregnant. This casework started with drawing; after a round of exploration through actions, the tension phase came, and it was discovered that she had a fear of snakes. Like a snake, I pressed my head against her genital area, as if to squeeze in. She screamed in fear, and entered what she later described to be the blue Avatar world. She felt as if she was pinned on a tree by a snake and couldn’t move. Afterwards, I invited her to turn over with me together on the ground, and she slowly came back from the Avatar world. She sat up and drew a picture of a pregnant woman. She felt this to be the goal she was pursuing, and felt relaxed!

(3) A woman who regretted having an abortion let go of the “child” and moved on
A woman who had an abortion before felt regret for her behavior. During casework, this regret kept resurfacing. She knelt down and cried, sorry that she had killed the child within her. Later during the process, she saw the child; in the beginning, she thought he had come for revenge, but then she realized he had come to say goodbye. After this mother reluctantly said “goodbye” with the child, she decided to let go and move on with a lighter heart, and promised to live fully in the future.

I believe, in the “Authentic Female” workshop, the cases will be even closer to the female relationship with the self and her sexual nature. Compared to the “Authentic Woman” course, the “Authentic Female” course will be more personal, more introverted, more physical, and sexier. I am passionately looking forward to the “Authentic Female” cases to surface, and to being an authentic female together.