No More Fear for Water ?What I gained from the Recuperation Retreat

By Piao Suping, Dalian, China

I had been longing to swim freely in water since my childhood. In the first grade of primary school, I played with other children in an outdoor swimming pool. The summer holiday went by and my friends could swim or at least float in the water. But I was still the same as the beginning. The reason was, I dared not put my head into the water. I practised at home by trying to submerge my head in the water basin and hold my breath. Although it was just a basin, I still could not do it. My fear for water was overwhelming.

My desire to swim in the water and my fear for water had been with me all the way into my middle age. During this period, I dabbled at the swimming pool with my friends frequently. Even my daughter made jokes on my clumsiness. No matter how hard they tried to convince me, I could not break through the fear of putting my head into the water. I also firmly believed that I could not.

In January 2008, I participated in a recuperation retreat facilitated by Conrad Ho at the Walking Hill Hot spring at Dalian. Before it started, I only thought that my mind and body would benefit from this trip. I was not expecting too much but the gain was beyond my imagination. One of the important gains was ?the fear for water that had haunted me for the past 40 years disappeared!

One of the programmes in the recuperation retreat was bathing in an outdoor hot spring. On that day, when we were all in the water, Conrad let participants float in the water. I resisted immediately: “No, I dare not! No, I could not do this!” Other participants starred at me strangely and I felt embarassed to disclose my fear. Conrad, always smiling, said nothing and continued with the activities. I observed how others floated in the water, facing upward, with two helpers supporting on either side. Knowing that I would not be facing down, I wanted to give it a go. When I lifted my legs off the pool bottom, others supported and swang my body rhythmically. I felt as if I were inside my mother’s womb, comfortable and safe. A wonderful sensation filled me, making me feel like staying there for long.

On my feet again, I felt a strong urge to put my head into the water! With the warm encouragement from other participants, I immersed my head into the water! I had no more fear, no more anxiety. I was extremely excited! Worrying that I might forget how I accomplished this, I repeated this simple action, which was once difficult for me, again and again. Conrad said, “No, you would not forget this.?lt;/p>

Those who could swim might not understand how I felt at that moment. My fear for water, which I had for 40 years, disappeared! I still remembered vividly what Conrad said during the group sharing: “Fear is not to be defeated. When you have positive feelings and experience, the fear will simply melt away`.” Yes, that was how my fear for the water disappeared.

The recuperation retreat gave me an opportunity to experience the meaning of intentional movement and intentional rest. It also gave me a chance to notice and be aware of myself. I felt a sense of intrinsic motivation, and a belief emerged saying “I can.? I can and I cannot is only a step away from each other. It is not so complicated.

The retreat was such a physical and mental enjoyment! There was no preaching, only experience and the self-awareness after experiencing.

Next Recuperation Retreat
Oct 23-26, Autumn Retreat, Dalian, China
Dec 18-21, Winter Retreat, Dalian, China